As we begin the observance of Pan Cog and the country relaxes, the rest of you may be noting the strange correlation with National Pancake Week. Pan Cog (rumored to be an adaptation of pancóg) starts with a two day fast of Forced French Toast traditionally suffered by the great people of Stimmblonia. It is said that the Glorious Leader, having run out of sacred milk for pancakes had a vision.
In the vision there were no cakes, only egg-coated bread. In its transparent attempt to emulate a cake, the offending, unnecessarily quoted, "food" did its best to imitate the perfect fluff of a cake. However, a spray-painting of chicken ovum puree over a loaf slice with suitable crumb is FAR from a proper cake. As any true Stimmblonian, the Glorious Leader suffered greatly. It is because of this that Pan Cog begins with the Forced French Toast ("FFT").
Though officially a day of reflection and awareness of the danger of imposers, commoners often use the pronunciation as a term of derision. Frequently it can be heard under bated breath, "Oh great, a place with no pancakes, I'd love to go there--'ffffft.'"
More news during the celebration!
-The People of Stimmblonia
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